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Dating and courtship used to be interchangeable terms. Most people dated with the intent to marry. Now today, as relationships have taken on so many new dimensions and the world wide web has opened doors for a long-distance relationship and online dating.  The concept of dating has changed drastically. But has it changed for the better or is it ruining the traditional idea of courtship?

We are not saying that it is impossible to find love online. There have been many a story of successful relationships that started via an online dating site or app. However, the reality of online dating is not all it’s cracked up to be.

In the following blog, we shall take a look at how online dating is breaking all the rules and essentially running the idea of love, courtship, and long-lasting relationships.

Dating apps are ruining dating

There are apps for everything these days it seems. You can download an app for your grocery shopping, or schedule a doctor’s appointment or order a pizza. But did we ever imagine that we could merely swipe a photo to meet our destined love? Dating apps are one of the most download apps of all time, but do they really work?

It used to be that you met someone in person, or via a “set up” through a mutual friend. You met, you talked and if you felt a “connection,” you then set up the first date, and if that went well, there would be a second date, and third and so forth. But with modern technology all you have to do is download one of a hundred possible dating apps, flip through photos and swipe right if you’re interested and left if you’re not. Is this what dating has come down to? Choosing your possible future partner by looking at a picture that has most likely photoshopped?

How many are potentially great partners being passed over simply because they don’t photograph well? And because their 245 character bio wasn’t catchy enough?

When you meet someone in person, you get to know them right away. Online you only find out the few details they have chosen to reveal in their bio? How many people are 100% of those things? And what happens when you meet in real life, and they are nothing like they appeared “on paper.” Check out this piece in the Huffington Post for more on how dating apps are ruining your chances of finding true love.

Internet dating and failing relationships

Sure, we can all name at least one couple who has found love via online dating. But for that one happy couple, how many horror stories have we heard as well? And do relationships that were born and bread on the internet honestly last?

In an article in Psychology Today, Dr. Martin Groff discusses the following scientific reasons why online relationships aren’t always what they seem. For more on Dr. Groff’s insights on cyber dating, click here.

  1. We make decisions based on appearances only.
  2. We only get a partial impression from dating profiles
  3. Computer generated dating algorithm aren’t always accurate or reliable.
  4. People are not always honest in their bios.
  5. It can take days, weeks or even months to find someone online.


Couples who meet organically stay together longer

In a recent study at Stanford University,  determined that couples who met naturally, or in person without the use of a dating site or app, have a 60% higher success rate in both long-term relationships and marriage. The reasoning behind this is that those who meet in person are less like to lie, cheat or just abandon the relationship with no warning. Check out the full study here.

So is online dating ruining the traditional idea of relationships? Perhaps if you are looking for real love, you should stick to meeting someone in person. If You are looking for a short-term fling or a one, nightstand than online dating might be more up your alley. However, if you believe in long-lasting relationships and marriage, you might want to embrace the old-fashioned idea of courtship. OPTOFF.

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